Friday, January 23, 2009

Wii Mii

Let me clear one thing up real quick before I tell you how much I hate the Wii Fit!

Brandon this is for you: Ahem. Brandon, the Wii is not code for "wine". It is not some new text acronym or inside joke that Ashlee and I share. It is a video console. And a Mii is you in Wii land. Its not a new flavor of dessert wine like a Riesling. I'm glad we cleared that up!

Now that we are all on the same page allow me to bitch for a moment. Steven bought a Wii Fit a few days ago. One of the "cool" things about the Wii Fit is that it will do a body analysis on you. Check your BMI, your weight and even tell you what your "real age" is. I was super excited to try this out. I'm not a total health nut....ok I'm a friggin carb-aholic!!! But I'm not a complete slacker either. I like to stay in shape, so I thought I would do really well on the test. *evil laughter*

Step #1 Check your BMI, enter your age, height & weight....BMI 22, sweet! I'm normal.

Step#2 Turns into a scale and calculates your weight....don't even ask!

Step#3 Do a series of balance tests. Let me just interject here....This sounds easy but is rather difficult. You have to apply the right amount of pressure to each leg and try to get a red dot in the center and well after some wine and an electric lunch...we all can see where this is going. I pretty much have the balance of 9 month old just learning to walk!

Step #4 Calculates Myy Wii age *drum roll*......45!! WTF YOU STUPID MACHINE!!! There is NO WAY my real age is 12 years more than my actual age. I'm pretty sure that Mii fainted when the age was announced. Fuck You Wii, I'm doing it again....44. BASTARD!!! I'm competative and stubborn, so you guessed it, one more time. Concentrate Irish, you can do this. I close 1 "drunken" eye, stand up straight, tummy in and redo the balance tests again.....37. *flip off inanimate object* Fuck You Wii!!! I need more wine!!! I'm also pretty sure that the Wii Fit just told me "37" to get my fat ass off it. It was a pity age.

Oh and did I mention that based off your weight, it changes the shape of your Mii??? Oh yes and I'm pretty sure that when I stepped on the Wii, it groaned. ASSHOLE!!! Now I know the Wii was created by a man. No woman in her right mind would tell your true weight or make you older then what you actually are!! Fuckk Youu Wii!!!!!


Day said...

OMG...I am scared to get a Wii Fit now! If it groaned for you, it would tell me to only have one player at a time on the balance board!

SteveBargelt said...

The funny part (and I say funny because some formula is seriously FUCKED up in wii-land, not funny in that I almost didn't get SEX last night because Irish was so pissed at my wii!) is that it says that my wii age is 33. Six years YOUNGER than I really am! Yet the lovely wii said I'm obese! WTF?

I'm obese but have good balance so I'm young. WTF? Irish is skinny, has a normal BMI and wobbled a LITTLE... I mean it A LITTLE so she is 12 years OLDER than her real age? Really? Stupid wii fit!

Irish Girl said...

Day: You crack me up!!! I'm surprised when I tried to get back on the Wii, it didn't run the other way.

Steve: Yes, wtf?? Stupid Wii. I'm not one to normally worry about my age, but when it makes me 12 years old?!?! I just hope that something doesn't happen to that little guy one night as he sleeps!