Wednesday, December 31, 2008
The year started out with me being mostly, happily married. On New Year's Eve, my husband gave me a pear shaped diamond ring in our champange glasses...it was very sweet and very romantic. But by April, I had moved into our guest bedroom, I met an amazing guy, and my husband filed for divorce. From there the year has had its ups and downs. In a way I'm more than ready for 2008 to be over and yet I'm sitting here crying at my desk sad for what was. This will be the first NYE in 12 years that I won't be spending it with Todd. I kinda wouldn't mind just going to bed early and waking up with it already being 2009.
Today I am filled with mixed emotions. I'm excited for the future, scared shit-less to be on my own and sad that my marriage is over. I have also reconnected with some amazing people that I went to high school with as well as meeting some incredible new, true friends and got rid of 1 cancerous 'friend'.
Last year I only made 1 resolution. That was to get out of debit (or at least not be in so much debit). However, I NEVER dreamt that it would happen by being cashed out of my house & getting divorced. Lesson learned, be careful what you wish for. This year I think the only resolutions I will make are to be a happier IrishGirl and a better mother to Master P!
I hope everyone has a great 2009. Happy New Year!!!!
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
So let me back up for a moment. Ashlee and I went out to lunch for our non-company sanctioned Christmas/New Years party. And what classier place to go then Red Robin. Can I get a "what-what"? Anywho, so we take our cozy lil love nest of a seat in the bar. This is the point in the date that I reveal to Ashlee, that if she treats me right, I will put out at the end of our date! We order our drinks (priorities!). A Mai Tai for my date and I order a Sand In Your Shorts. As usual, Ashlee doesn't like her choice and being the polite date that I am, I trade with her. I suck down my Mai Tai and order a Blue Moon. All the while we are enjoying polite conversation about bubble baths and eye goggles while eating our guacamole. By this time, Ashlee has finished her drink and is getting rather thirsty. To our dismay, the waitress, Flo has disappeared. I'm trying to calm Ashlee down, but nothing seems to be working.
When Flo FINALLY reappears, Ashlee gets all up in her face, talking this trash and that trash cause we all know that she's "Trashlee" (you know how people from Graham Cracker are). Ashlee then grabs the Teriyaki Burger off my plate and flings it at Flo. Ashlee rips off her clothes only to reveal a singlet like that on American Gladiator. It looked something like this:
Of course Ashlee is now starting to get tired from the lack of food and too much booze (gotta love them Graham Crackers). Ashlee tags me in where I do an elbow drop off our booth. Flo goes down without much of a fight. I turn around and High-Five Ashlee. Ashlee then screams that Flo is coming back at me. This is when I grab a bar stool and with the other patrons shouting "chair, chair, chair" I crush it across her back! I would've done a pile driver, but 1-2-3, Flo's down for the count! High-five, very nice. The State Farm Girls win again. Lesson to all: DON'T MESS WITH THE FARM!!!
All in all, I would have to say that it was a great Christmas/NY party. By far, the best I've EVER been too. In fact I was SO famished from my arss whooping that I took the bacon right out of my BLTA and dipped it straight into the mayo. Once I took care of the bacon, I went to work on the lettuce in mayo. Let's face it, EVERYTHING IS BETTER with mayo. And maybe next time, Flo will bring us our drinks in an orderly fashion!
Friday, December 26, 2008
Apparently I have A LOT to learn about dating a "geek".
So much so, that they wrote an entire book on it.
Wall-E pjs from Uncle John and Aunt Jamie.
Master P doing his bit to shovel off the patio!
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
So its been snowing here in Seattle since....well its been so long that I can't even remember when it started, but for at least over a week. Tuesday morning, Ashlee gets to work a few minutes before I do. OMW into work, I get this text from Ashlee that as she was getting out of her truck, she slipped on the ice and fell. She landed right on her ass and now her back hurts. Ain't Karma a bitch.
I got to work just fine, but in celebrating my triumph of being able to drive into work w/no problems, I decided to go tanning at lunch. Seemed like a great idea at the time. As I was trying to get out of the parking spot, my car started to slide. So being the California girl that I am with NO experience driving in the snow, I hit the gas. WRONG!!! All I seemed to do was get myself into a rut....literally. Thankfully some really nice people helped push me back into the parking stall where I waited for Ashlee, my knight in shining armour, to come pick me up. Ain't Karma a bitch.
I guess we learned our lesson.....NAH!! I'm going to laugh just as hard and just as loud at the next episode of the "Circle Of Sadness" duh-duh-dunnnn!!
Apparently last Thursday, she was made to shovel snow from the front of her office building. Not a big deal in itself, but then she *whoops* "slips and falls". Goes home, takes some "drugs" and went to bed. "Drugs" which she ALWAYS seems to have handy (that's a story for another time). Proceeds to feel better the next morning and goes to work. Apparently, while on said "drug", she makes a mistake. 1 single mistake on 1 single policy *bullshit* (sorry, I sneezed.) =D Because of this said mistake she is then suspended w/o pay until further notice..aka fired!! On the way home from work, she then goes to the er where she learns that she now has broken her tailbone and has compressed 4-5 discs in her lumbar spine. (Thanks, CafeMom for the update).
Oh good Goddess, where to I begin? First, you are not "suspended w/o pay until further notice" for making A mistake. You are suspended because you don't know how to do your fucking job and have been fucking up royally for a loooong time. Second, I know I would've gone straight to the ER from work, ESPECIALLY if I had "broken my tailbone and compressed 4-5 discs." What a re-re. All I can say, and I'm sure I speak for all of us that have been kicked out of the "circle of sadness"..Thank Goddess that we don't have to deal with this. I can only imagine if we did. But I guess if you can no longer get sympathy from having "cancer" or your mom having "cancer" or your kids being threatened to be taken away by their Dad, you need to invent new reasons to gather sympathy and keep yourself in the "circle of sadness". The people I feel sorry for in this latest episode are her 2 daughters and her "friends". But you can only feel sorry for those dumb, stupid bastards for so long until one day you jump with joy and scream "WE TOLD YOU SO!!!"
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
So, I did it!!! It was tough, no one said it would be easy, but I FINALLY did it. I signed my divorce paperwork. And nothing has really changed. Balls of fire didn't fall from the sky, the Earth didn't shake and crack wide open (although last night it felt like it would), Hell hasn't frozen over. I don't know what I was expecting...maybe that the pen I was using would be made of some sort of invisible ink and everytime I signed, my signature would disappear. But in the end, nothing... I guess its kinda like on your birthday when your Mom wakes you up to ask if you feel any older or different? Not at first, but in the next couple of days, I'm sure that will change. Of course now comes the hard part...ha ha cuz its been a piece of cake up til now....the waiting. We have to wait for some judge who doesn't know a thing to sign off on our paperwork. A judge who has had nothing invested in the last 7 years to change 2 peoples lives forever. I'm sure it'll take less than a milisecond for him/her to review and sign and then WHAM!!! Its done and over with, the band-aid is off.
One thing is for sure. Once it is final, I'm going to party like its 1999!!! I want a cake and plenty 'o alcohol!!!! Nuff said. Oh except for maybe presents. Party on!
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
I miss wearing a wedding ring. I miss waking up and falling asleep with my husband. I miss being part of a team, a set, like salt and pepper, peanut butter and jelly, Sonny and Cher (okay bad example but you get my drift.) This is the part of the fairy tale that Disney doesn't tell you about. What happens to *insert Princess here* after the Prince kisses her and wakes her up? Life! That's what happens. And its hard and it sucks!!! But I guess making movies about the Ex Mrs. Charming doesn't sell dolls or dresses or makes money. Who wants to grow up to become an Ex-Wife and wear a tarnished crown?!?! Not me. I always wanted to be someone's Snow White.
I'm putting my pen down, papers still unsigned. Maybe I'll sign them tomorrow. For now, still Mrs. Russell.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
So I'm on my way to the bank today to do the office deposit. Driving down Pac Highway like normal, minding my own business rocking out to the Funky Monkey. When what to my wonderous eyes should appear, but a sparkly red old beat up El Camino with tires so big that they actually belong on a Monster Truck. I quickly tried to grab my camera phone to take a picture of this. Damn!! Too slow. So I pull up to the light pretending not to look and continue to rock out to whatever is on the radio at the time. La la la, pay no attention to the 'Dude' hanging his head out the window yelling at me. "Yes sir, I'm deaf." Oh good, green light. No sooner do I start to pull away that honks occur. Oh dear Goddess, now what?!?!? So Romeo pulls up beside me and starts yelling at me. "I don't know radio too loud, la la la." "No speak English." Then starts waving his cell phone at me. Ok, does he need help, directions, what? Nope my phone number! WTF!!! Prince Charming, are you f-ing serious?? Oh no you didn't just wave your phone at me to get my number all the while driving in traffic. Puh-leese. *switches ring from right hand to left* Taken sir. See the ring??? Taken. Not interested. Find another grrrl to holla at out your window.
I'm sorry but is the fact that you spent more money on rims than you probably made last year supposed to impress me, make me swoon?!?! Is the fact that you are drowning in debt supposed to make me want to hop right in your ride? And please just because you have capped ALL of your teeth in gold, does NOT mean that you can support my shoe habit! I prefer a man who's jeans aren't 5 times the size that they are supposed to be. I'm not interested in seeing Joe Boxer.
What happened to the good 'ol days? Seriously? The days where a guy had to work a little for a girl's number? Buy her a few drinks, make her laugh, maybe dance a little? I'm sad to report that the age of cheesy pick-up lines is dead....a moment of silence please. Ok, moving on. The next time you want to get my number, maybe put a little more effort into it than just honking your horn and waving your phone at me!