Thursday, July 23, 2009

Motor boatin' stick figures

A couple of weeks ago, Steve emailed me and asked me if I could send him over a "test" fax. Apparently their fax was not able to receive in coming faxes and Steve was the one in charge of fixing it. Sure, I was more than happy to help my handsome BF out. Initially, I was just going to send a fax that said "test" or something equally lame and totally SFW, but then he made the mistake of sending me another email telling me to be careful of what I sent since it was a shared work space. Well that's all it took to ignite my little fire!!! So, my creative juices started flowing trying to come up with a clever "test" fax. Think...think...think...a ha!! And this is what was sent over:

Funny enough, he hasn't asked me to send him anymore "test" faxes. I'm assuming that he got it fixed...I mean surely it wasn't my drawing! LOL

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Here's Mexi!!!

Ashlee won't have her ultrasound for another couple of weeks, but we are already pretty sure we know what sex the baby is and what it will look like. Introducing *drum roll* Mexi-Nugget!!!

For those of you not quite up on your ultrasound viewing skills, allow me to point out some of the features.

  • Note the "Angry Baby" eyebrows, carefully drawn on with black eyeliner. For that "what the eff you looking at Essa?"
  • Note the lips carefully outlined with this black eyeliner pencil while still keeping her lips there natural color. This gives Mexi that "come hither" look that every baby needs in the nursery.
  • NO those aren't floaties. Those are gold bangles that Mexi acquired on Ebay...yes while still in Ashlee's uterus. Every feisty Latina needs her gold bangles, it says "oh naa-ah, I don't need a Baby's Daddy. I can provide just fine for myself." (complete with neck swivel)
  • Last but not least, you'll notice that green thing around the crotchal region. No Mexi does not have the clap, the herp or the hiv. That is her diaper made out of the finest hemp she could find. (WHAT?!?! You try finding hemp on line while you're still in utero). Well where else to you expect her to put her rusty shank?

Of course Mexi isn't just a fashionista, she's also a linguista. Here are some things you might over hear her say:

  • Hola Bitches (when she first comes out)
  • Ey Papi. Smack dat ass (when the doctor spanks her for the first time)
  • Yo Brandon, change my shit (when she has a dirty diaper)
  • Yo quiero taco bell, Bitches
  • And a little for my homeys (as she nurses for the first time, and squirts a little on the floor)

Welcome Mexi. Can't wait to actually meet you!

You want to put your corn where?!?!?

IDK if its that I just don't listen, I'm really a blonde trapped in a brunette's body or if I'm actually that big of a re!!! Allow me to elaborate.

Ashlee and I work in a small office and we sit rather close to each other. We like to talk.....A LOT!!! And because we are really open about things with each other (no such thing as TMI in here) its not unusual for a normal conversation about sewing to turn into a "we were bumping uglies last night and guess what" kinda conversation. So I'm just sitting here minding my own business working....okay so I was emailing Steve. Ashlee turns to me and starts telling me about an email she's writing. That conversation went something like this:

Ashlee: I just told Tab how to do corn in the fire.

Me: *shocked look on face* *and slightly confused* What the hell is corn in the fire?!?!


Me: *still confused* *crickets* OH!!! corn in the fire.

Ashlee: yeah. What the HELL did you think I was talking about?!?!

Me: *giggle* I thought you were telling Tab about a new sex position. I was thinking "why haven't I ever heard of this and how come you're only telling Tab and not me?!?!"

Ashlee: OMG, You're retarded. No dumbass. Tab is going camping and I was telling her how to cook corn in the fire.....but OMG, can you imagine if there was something called "corn in the fire"? And then you did it in reverse?!?

Me: *ROFL*

Friday, July 17, 2009

Garlic fries and cats

Last Thursday Ashlee and I went to the Mariners game for Cheezburger night. Let me say this...I FRIGGIN LOVE going to baseball games with Ashlee. She rocks. She watches the games the same way I do. It was awesome!!

We got to the game and pre-funked at the pre-game party especially for LOLCats fans. Okay, before I get to the game, let me just say that Ashlee and I were a little worried about what kind of freaks we were going to find at a party for LOLCats fans. We kept picturing a bunch of frumpy looking ladies in their 50's with at least 20 cats at home. We were pleasantly surprised to see that everyone there was just like us. A bunch of office professionals in their 20s and 30s who when bored at work, surfed the net and found joy in cats that can't speak so good.

After the pre-game party, Ashlee and I decided that we were starving. Off to find us some garlic fries (best thing since sliced bread!). I grabbed a hot dog and Ashlee got her chicken strips. We made our way up to the 3rd level and ate dinner out on the patio over looking the Sound, the weather was perfect, BTW. Then we chatted it up with a great guy named Joel. Turns out Joel is the one responsible for making the LOLCats shirts that we were so proudly wearing. After we got our grub on, we decided to walk around a little and check out the stadium (and make fun of people)....okay so just who the hell wears stilettos to a baseball game anyhow?!?! (Just throwing that out there) After about 20 minutes of walking around and people watching we decided it was time to go home. (it was the top of the 3rd)

Time spent in our actual seats: 0 minutes
Time spent watching the game: 0 minutes
Drive time for garlic fries and cats: 40 minutes
Going to the game with someone who only goes for garlic fries too: PRICELESS.

For pictures and a full re-cap of the game head on over to Ashlee's blog!

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Wez getz cheezburgerz twonite!!!

I'm SO excited!!! The night is FINALLY here. Tonight, Ashlee and I are going to Cheezburger Nite at Safeco Field. Honestly, we could really give two cheezburgers about the Mariners. Let's be honest, baseball sucks....especially when talking about the Mariners! We are going for the garlic fries and our free Cheezburger shirt!!!

In case you don't know what I'm talking about: I Can Has Cheezburger is the funniest damn website out there....IMHO!!! Seriously people! This is the first on my daily read list! The basis is that people post pictures of their cats and then you can write captions. Of course, being cats, they don't speak (or spell) so good, which makes it even funnier. Ashlee and I like to pretend that if our cats spoke, that's exactly how they would sound.

And yup, just the two of us are going. Its a girls night out....well actually when we told the DH and the BF that we were going to a baseball they were rather excited. Sweet the girls like sports. Then when we told them that it was for a cat night for cats that don't speak so good, they now pretend not to know us. The conversation went something like this:

me: Honey, Ashlee and I are going to a Mariners game on the 9th.

Steve: Okay cool. I didn't think you girls were into baseball.

me: Well we're not. BUT its LOLCats night and we get a free shirt!!! *squeal*

Steve: Its what?!?

me: LOLCats, you know the cats that I tell you about that speak funny. The Itteh bitteh kitteh commitehs..... WHAT?!?! Why are you looking at me like that?!?! Steve...Honey...where are you going?!?! Okay see you when you get back.

Now that I must go and get fitted for my straight jacket, go check out the site. I'll be sure to post lots of pictures from tonight. I can't WAIT to see the other people that show up for this. I LOVE people watching!

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Did that hurt??? and other stupid questions!

I have several piercings....9 to be exact, and ready for number 10. My favorite by far is my Madison. I'm actually wanting to get a vertical Madison soon!!!....and possibly my septum redone, oh and I could totally get a corset done, but that takes a while to heal...and I'm off topic already. *ehm* It seems that no matter which piercing it is that people notice, my Madison, my Monroe or even my tongue, it never fails that I get asked the same questions....and they are dumb! So I thought I would take this time to address each question so y'all can stop asking me or at the very least come up with some that are more creative.

  1. (pointing to a piercing) Did that hurt? No, it tickled actually. I got into a fit of laughter as soon as the needle punctured my skin! Yes, you moron it did hurt. Someone took a knitting needle and stuck it through my skin. (Lucky for me, I happen to like the pain and that's why I keep getting them done!)

  2. (pointing to my Madison) Are those magnets? Umm. no they aren't magnets. I'm not a wanna be emo kid trying to look cool just so I can impress the other wanna be emo kids. Its actually a piece of metal through my body.

  3. How does it stay in? IDK, how do your earrings stay in, Stephen Hawking??? I'll try to speak slow, but you might want to take notes. There is a hole. The barbell goes through it. The back attaches. Ta Da!

  4. What does your Mother think? I'm 34 with a child of mine own. I'm sure my Mother has other things to worry or think about other then me putting a hole in my body.

  5. Why would you do that? Why not?

  6. But why? Why not?

  7. But why? Okay, let me break it down like this. I like pain and I like the way they look. And the fact that my ex-husband hates them and my BF loves them...well what more motivation do I need?

  8. Is it true what they say about girls with tongue rings? Here allow me prove it to you! =)