I know that times have changed. The older I get the more I'm reminded of this. I'm not saying that I need to be swept off my feet, carried out of the office by a knight in shining armour on a white horse or by Richard Gere, via An Officer And A Gentleman. But a little effort goes a long way. Let me tell you what I'm talking about.
So I'm on my way to the bank today to do the office deposit. Driving down Pac Highway like normal, minding my own business rocking out to the Funky Monkey. When what to my wonderous eyes should appear, but a sparkly red old beat up El Camino with tires so big that they actually belong on a Monster Truck. I quickly tried to grab my camera phone to take a picture of this. Damn!! Too slow. So I pull up to the light pretending not to look and continue to rock out to whatever is on the radio at the time. La la la, pay no attention to the 'Dude' hanging his head out the window yelling at me. "Yes sir, I'm deaf." Oh good, green light. No sooner do I start to pull away that honks occur. Oh dear Goddess, now what?!?!? So Romeo pulls up beside me and starts yelling at me. "I don't know radio too loud, la la la." "No speak English." Then starts waving his cell phone at me. Ok, does he need help, directions, what? Nope my phone number! WTF!!! Prince Charming, are you f-ing serious?? Oh no you didn't just wave your phone at me to get my number all the while driving in traffic. Puh-leese. *switches ring from right hand to left* Taken sir. See the ring??? Taken. Not interested. Find another grrrl to holla at out your window.
I'm sorry but is the fact that you spent more money on rims than you probably made last year supposed to impress me, make me swoon?!?! Is the fact that you are drowning in debt supposed to make me want to hop right in your ride? And please just because you have capped ALL of your teeth in gold, does NOT mean that you can support my shoe habit! I prefer a man who's jeans aren't 5 times the size that they are supposed to be. I'm not interested in seeing Joe Boxer.
What happened to the good 'ol days? Seriously? The days where a guy had to work a little for a girl's number? Buy her a few drinks, make her laugh, maybe dance a little? I'm sad to report that the age of cheesy pick-up lines is dead....a moment of silence please. Ok, moving on. The next time you want to get my number, maybe put a little more effort into it than just honking your horn and waving your phone at me!
5 years ago