Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Pull my hair and ride my ass!

I have been inspired today. Inspired by a Dirty Pirate Hooker of all people. She has made me tingle in naughty places and has caused me to shutter and drool uncontrollably. We are speaking of course about the famed "laminated lists" .

For those of you who don't know or didn't watch, the laminated list grew in pop culture thanks to "Friends" . This is a list of 5 people (usually celebrities) that if you ever met and had the chance, would fuck with no consequences from your significant other. It would have to be consensual sex between the two people, but please, who wouldn't want this!

Over the years my list has changed quite a bit. Some people have gone from number 5 to number 1, other's like my forever loved Robert Smith has been dropped. WHAT?!?!? Goth kids can have dreams too! So I submit for your reading pleasures my current Laminated List* in no particular order *subject to change at a moments notice* =)

Russell Brand If you've seen Forgetting Sarah Marshall, I don't need to say anything further. If you haven't, what rock have you been living under? Let's just start with the accent. I KNOW!!! He's funny, he can sing and the body....*shutters* He is definitely shag-able. See these shackles Baby, I'm your slave!!!

Jason Statham He isn't called Handsome Rob for nothing! I first noticed his "acting ability" in Snatch where he played Turkish. It was funny and gritty and well, began my love affair with Jason. Of course some of his movies aren't as good as others, but I watch them all waiting on the edge of my seat for him to take his shirt off and kick the living shit out of someone. *sigh* Now that's a real man!!! Oh Jason, just lay there and let me lick the sweat off your rock hard abs after you work out!!! No, no shh, shh, don't talk, just let me drool all over you!!!

Taye Diggs he helped Stella Get Her Groove Back and I KNOW he could help me get mine (if I ever lost it)!! He is all sorts of chocolaty goodness! You know what they say!!! Sucks, his wife is super smoking hot! That's ok. What's not to love about Taye? He's hot!...ok, duh. He can sing, he can act, he's got a GREAT body, (noticing a trend yet), he smart (graduated from Syracuse) and has a sense of humor (did you catch him on Will and Grace?) I could spend an entire week on white sandy beaches with him. Well that and drinks with little umbrellas in them!

Hugh Jackman, aka/Logan aka/Wolverine aka/People's Sexiest Man Alive 2008!!! Ok, where do I start...perhaps with a cold shower. He's tall (6'2") dark and handsome!!! He looks hot scruffy and clean cut. Not many men can pull this off. (the only other one I know is my Steven!!) And have you seen him in his leather Wolverine outfit?!?! Baby, that thing would NEVER come off...ok maybe never say never. He sings, he cooks, he's got a great body, he's romantic and he's a total family man. Watching him in X-Men, I have never wanted to be a mutant so much in my life!! Sad that Master P and I watch your movies for two totally different reasons. I'm a very bad Mommy and should be punished. I'll let you whip me if I miss behave. Hello Wolfie!!! =D

Kat Von D. MEOW!!! Yes, I realize its a girl. I NEVER said that the list couldn't contain someone of the same sex. Come on she's hot! She's naturally cute, a little quirky and has ink...Hmm remind you of your favorite Irish Girl?!? =D And the fact that she's dating Nikki Sixx and there's a possibility of getting some of that action too, makes her even hotter. Not to mention that the thought of free ink is very enticing. I know what Steve is thinking....3 some!!! And you'd be right baby!!! I would definitely switch teams for her!! I would be her little bitch. Oh my Kitty Kat, girls just wanna have fun and oh what fun we could have. By day, just me and you on the beach or rocking out to Motley Crue. And of course at night....whoops sorry, went to a weird place didn't I?

So there you have it my loyal readers. My laminated list for January 28th 2009! Please help a stalker....errr...girl out, if you happen to run into any of my fab 5, give 'em my number! So who are you stalking?!?!


Day said...

Should I revisit my list for you. Ok, I will! I need a good tingle in my nether regions.
Jason Statham
Chris Nunez
Dane Cook
Duane "The Rock" Johnson
Justin Bruening

Dirty Pirate Hooker said...

LOL, I like that you made it a 'laminated' list. That way no spooj can get on it!