Tuesday, September 8, 2009

You want me to put my mouth where?!?!

I'm not sure how many of you are aware of this, but on Labor Day (Monday) writer, director and actor extraordinaire, Kevin Smith (Silent Bob from Clerks) hosted a 24 hour Tweet-a-thon. Basically you could tweet Kevin and if you were one of the lucky ones (of which Steve and I were NOT...that fat bastard, see if I EVER watch Jersey Girl or Clerks again!!) he would answer your question.

BTW~let me interject here and just say that I.AM.TOTALLY.FUCKING.STOKED.BEYOND.BELIEF.THAT.STEVE.AND.I.ARE.GOING.TO.SEE.HIM.IN.OCTOBER! Not that I'm bragging or anything. *neener, neener, we have tickets and you don't*

Anyhow. 1 question he was asked made me think. I'm paraphrasing, but the question went something like this "have you ever received a bad blow job" Again paraphrasing, but Kevin's answer went something like this: "there's no such thing as a bad blow job."

I just had to stop and politely disagree with Sir Kevin Smtih, right there! Obviously I don't get, have never and WILL never be on the RECEIVING end of a BJ, but I have had a couple of people dine at the "Y". And let's just say that not ALL of them have been the best of customers. Some patrons have been sloppy, rude or don't even finish! (and what's with this back and forth head thing like all he is doing is shaking his head "NO"?? REALLY?!?! Like that's gonna get me off) Do you know how hard it is to fake an "O" while someone is giving you oral?!? You try it. Go on, I dare you! It's virtually impossible!!! And it sucks...no pun intended. While he was grubbing down his "meal", I was going over my finite calculus-trig homework that was assigned less than 2 hours ago!!! (and if I didn't have to 'show" my work, I'd be rocking that shyt). I mean, I was trying to figure out how Superman managed to rotate the Earth the other way without causing mass destruction. I was tyring to figure out who the shooter on the grassy knoll was. Hell! I was even trying to figure out what I was going to wear the next day with my knee high combat boots & stripped tights....skirt or shorts?!?!

Listen, I'm a NOT "professional" by ANY means, but I do, sort of, pride myself on my ability to "give" (if you know what I mean). Now, I haven't had any formal training, I haven't read any books nor have I gone to any classes (although how friggin cool would that be?!?!) but you sorta learn along the way. I mean you pick this shyt up in the locker room or in the hall between classes from your BFF's older sister or what not. All us females know Rule #1, first and foremost...NO TEETH!! From there I have learned that it's a matter of personal preference from the receiver.

Anyhow, the whole question and answer, in and of it's self, got me to wonder..."is there such a thing as bad oral sex?!?!"

So I want to hear from you, my loyal reader of 1...okay maybe 2, is there such a thing as bad oral sex? Have you EVER received bad oral? Have you EVER given bad oral sex? OR is bad oral sex an urban legend much like the giant alligators that live in the sewers of NY?


SteveBargelt said...

Well yes I have received bad oral (no TEETH!!!) and I was MOST certainly NOT from you! You are amazing!

I think maybe what Kevin was trying to get across is that any blow job even a "bad" one is better than NO blow job at all? Maybe??

Irish Girl said...

I still have to disagree with you, my Love. I would rather have no oral than bad oral...Then again, maybe it's because I'm NOT a guy and well guy's only want 1 thing! =p