HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY!!

Well its that time of year again. It's St. Patrick's Day. Erin Go Bragh, y'all!! As much as I typically look forward to this time of year, the corned beef, potatoes, the Guinness, the debauchery...sadly this year, I'm not. I'm Irish and can't even seem to get into the spirit this year. Sad, I KNOW!!! Of course I wore green today. Had to for Preston. He kept harping on me that he being a little leprechaun would come and pinch me if I didn't, so I put on my "Every Loves An Irish Girl" green t-shirt, put on a smile, had Lucky Charms for breakfast and dropped my little leprechaun off at school.....and then I cried. I miss S so much!!! I remember what we were doing this time last year. How happy we were. And now all I do is cry.

To get me out of my "funk" my friend V has asked me to go out with her tonight. A little socializing, some pool and some fresh air....funny, I don't want any part of it. I want to curl up into a little ball in my soft, warm bed and cry myself to sleep like I do most nights. I'm pathetic, I know. But I'll go, only because I made a promise, and I haven't had a "girls" night out in a while. Besides, if people can't trust and rely on your word, then you really have nothing. I will put on a smile, be nice, be polite, but the whole time I'll be missing and thinking about S. Wishing, hoping, praying that I could come home to his waiting arms, warm smile, sweet eyes and wonderful kisses. =(

I'm NOT drinking this year...for several reasons. Some more important than others, but I guess water can be just as fun right?!?! I just wish that she wasn't wanting to go out at 9:30pm. B-jesuz...doesn't she know that I'm old and I'm in bed by then....especially lately. But I'll go. Actually I'll probably sit in my car like Cameron from Ferris Bueller and contemplate going, only to finally go. But I'll still be missing S. This just fucking sucks!!!! I miss MY boyfriend and I want him back! I want to be happy again and I want to stop feeling/looking like Eeyore with a little black cloud over me.

Oh well. Erin Go Bragh! I hope you all have a great St. Patricks Day. Now go have a drink...or 6 for me!