Happy Birthday to you??

My Ex's birthday was a couple of weeks ago. (This isn't a belated Birthday post, though.) Although since this is the first year being divorced (and the first year that his Mother isn't here to spend it with him) and having to celebrate his birthday it really got me thinking. Now what?!? In the years past, I ALWAYS made a big deal out of his birthday...well really anyone's birthday, but now what? In years past, I have gotten up at the butt crack of dawn to put "Happy Birthday" post it notes all over the house, make breakfast in bed, pamper him all day, throw themed parties, bought cakes, hell even....well you don't want to hear about that, but now what do I do? After 12 years the date is ingrained in my brain so I knew I wouldn't forget, not to mention P should do something for his Dad, right? That's what led me to question, now what do I do? What should an ex-wife do? What should a responsible parent do?

Should I FORCE P to buy him a gift? Should I leave it up to P whether he wants to buy Daddy a gift or not? I mean its not like P is old enough to be able to afford to buy a gift on his own, which means that I'm having to spend money on the Ex...and for that matter, should I get the Ex a card...or even a gift?!?!

I PRIDE myself on being a good Mother, a responsible parent and an excellent role model for my child. As in years past, I made a big deal out of the Ex's birthday....not HUGE or extravagant by ANY means, but a celebration. A celebration for the day that my Ex was brought into the World.

I started asking P weeks in advance what he would like to get Daddy for his birthday...I even let P pick out the present himself (it was an underwater Batman sub...I wonder WHO is REALLY getting to play with that). P also picked out the card himself...after I talked P out of getting the one with the half-naked girl, he decided on a talking South Park Card. And yes, even I got the Ex a gift. What can I say? After 12 years and a ton of shyt, I still consider him my friend. Of course the card was more humorous and less lovey-dovey than years past, but experience has shown that guys could give a rat's patooty about cards. And finally, we did go out to dinner. It wasn't home made with a sexy apron, thong and high heels on, but a nice dinner at a nice restaurant. We shared a bottle of wine and some laughs. It was nice, casual....friendly.

So I have to wonder, am I wrong? Did I over step some sort of "ex-wife" boundary? Or was I right in my choices? Shouldn't it be the responsibility of the Non-Birthday parent to help the kid(s) choose a gift for the Birthday Mom or Dad? Or does it depend on if the parents are getting along? Should the parent's personal feelings really get in the way of teaching a child how to treat someone with love and respect...especially on their Birthday???

What do you all think???