Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Calling All Single Ladies!!

Okay, not really, back off bitches, he's ALL mine!! *drum roll* Steve is divorced!!! I've waited over a year for this. Yeah, yeah, whatever, I'm a home wrecking hussy, who didn't know that already?!? Anyhow, my Steven, is FINALLY divorced and free from the CF (cunt faced) DB (douche bag) Psycho!! And to celebrate, I took him out to dinner. Just dinner you ask?!?! Then you don't know me very well and just what kind of girlfriend do you think I am anyways?!? The best kind!! We had Jager shots AND beer! Oh yeah and a shopping trip *evil smile* But I digress. I'm so fucking happy that its done and over with and he's now mine...all mine. (WOW that sounds psycho, doesn't it?!?!) Seriously though I've had a smile on my face ALL week.

Really, I'm not a total heartless bitch though, dispite what the Douche Bag says, I do feel bad. I feel bad for the kids. They have to continue to live with the CF DB! But he's working on that. Until then, we will enjoy "family" life every other weekend with our kids! We will continue to show them that two people can have an open and loving relationship and not scream and fight with each other every day over stupid shyt like who took out the garbage last (although, I'm sure one day we will. Then we'll make up and have amazing "makeup" sex). Oh and speaking of sex....there's nothing like having sex with a newly single, piece of hot ass!!! You know what I'm taking about. *cue 70's porn music* Anyhow without further ado, I introduce my newly single (on paper only) Steve!! *drum roll*

Now to start planning our divorce parties!!!! Who wants to buy me a shot?!?!?


Bird Shit and Baby Caca said...

I toast to you guys! (Just another excuse to drink) Congrats!

Sherriff Bob said...

So I just found you on FB and love your blog, yer funny as hell! Congrats to you two! My wifey and I had the same thing going on, and we couldn't wait for that paperwork to clear...have a shot of Bushmill's on me!