You say "Bitch" like its a bad thing!

It was brought to my attention last night by my Dear BF that I've been a bitch lately. As if I, of all people, am capable of being a bitch! *ROFL* Yeah, sorry, even I couldn't type that with a straight face. But I mean come on, who isn't entitled to a little bitch time? A little PMS time? A little I'm-going-to-knock-out-the-next-fucker-that-breathes time? Its not like I was being a complete Douche Bag like someone we all know!....ok maybe on some level I was. *shrugs* Anyhow, the point of me telling you that, is to tell you this: Sorry, if I've been a bit bitchy lately. I've had some major shyt going on in my life lately and it just sucks. See, I live in WA all by myself. I have no family around. The only things keeping me here are my BF and my Son...well and the fact that being 800 miles away from my Mother keeps me sane most days! Recently though, "life" has been happening to my family. I'm starting to realize that people I love are getting older and may not be around forever as I once thought and perhaps, took for granted.

My (maternal) Grandfather lives in the Bay Area. I have an amazing relationship with my Grandfather. I'm the first grandchild and the first girl...who wouldn't love me. We enjoy watching NASCAR with each other and arguing with each other over whether the restrictor plate was a good rule or not. And I LOVE hearing about his stories of growing up in Kentucky in a 1 room log cabin. But lately he hasn't been doing so well. He's been in and out of the hospital no less than 9 times so far this year. He has emphysema and it isn't getting better. In fact, the last time he was in the hospital, the doctors told him there was nothing more they could do. IDK what that means or more importantly how much time that means, but it sucks to high Hell!!! And it sucks being stuck in this shyt whole of a state not being able to do anything!!! Fuck you WA. FUCK YOU!!!! On the positive note, I am going down to visit my Grandparents with Master P in about 2 weeks. I just hope I'm not too late. =(

So then last night, I get home from my 4 mile walk/run workout and I get a call from my Dad. Holy shyt. My heart just dropped because 01) my Dad NEVER calls me 10) my Dad never calls me at 10 at night, he's usually in bed at 7 and 11) I have a younger brother who is 5 and has Downs Syndrome. You can imagine my shock. My step-mom, Diane called to tell me that my Dad was in the hospital. WTF?!?! Not only that but the ICU. Apparently his intestine had ruptured a few days back and being the stubborn 'ol coot that he is (which I'm NOTHING like! yeah right), ignored it. He was slowly poisoning himself to death until he finally couldn't take it anymore. He had emergency surgery and is going to be ok, but will be down for a while. I have never known my Dad to be sick or to not work. This is going to kill him! And now I have to schedule a flight to Reno, where my Dad lives. Fuck you WA. FUCK YOU!!!!!!!

It would be so nice if everyone were in the same place. At least then I could visit everyone at the same time, but life is rarely easy or convenient. And when it is, you know a shyt storm is brewing! Oh and in other news, my divorce was final on March 20th and my Mother-In-Law passed away on March 22nd. (I think she was just holding on long enough to see us get divorced!!) Sorry, but so far 2009 has started out rather craptastic in the Irish household.

Let's see...anything else...oh yeah. My biological clock is going off likes its 6:30 am on a Monday morning. Its driving me nuts!! Hmmm, maybe I should stop reading all the TTC blogs that Ashlee got me addicted to! ARGH!!!!