Thursday, February 12, 2009

HERE'S YOUR SIGN!

I was going to do a rant about how much I hate Valentine's Day and the commercialization of it. But since this is my first Valentine's Day with the BF, I don't want to go shooting myself in the foot. Cuz let's face it, what girl doesn't love getting gifts, even if Ben Bridge has been reminding you since December 26th that diamond's are a girl's best friend and Valentine's Day is February 14th and if you don't buy her a diamond, then you just must NOT love her. So I will save that rant for Monday. Instead I will give you the Universal Signs that she wants to have sex.


This one goes out to all the fellas. *Barry White playing in the background*
With Valentine's Day right around the corner, I thought I would give you Gents a list of Universally Recognized Signs from your gal that means, I want to have sex with you....and I want it right now!!!
  • watching TV naked (ignore the thermometer that says its 90 degrees out and its 11:30 at night)
  • taking a bath
  • going pee while you are taking a bath
  • putting up "party" streamers (doesn't matter that its for BFF's birthday party later that night)
  • anything that requires climbing a ladder with you holding it
  • wearing her hair in pig-tails
  • wearing a skirt (It doesn't matter what kind, mini, granny, work...it's all the same)
  • wearing heels or boots
  • wearing an apron
  • bending over at the end of a long day and picking up the kids toys
  • bending over with her head in the oven, fridge or dryer
  • giving you that "wassup" head nod across the dinner table or across the gym
  • having just shaved our legs
  • the act of shaving our legs
  • rubbing your back in the middle of the night
  • rubbing your back in the middle of the night coupled with rubbing her feet on your legs (my personal fave!)
  • curling up next to you on the couch to watch ESPN (there's nothing hotter than hearing that Brett Favre is retiring...again!)
  • playing scrabble (especially while naked)
  • and pretty much ANY and ALL yoga poses

Of course some gals may do 1, a few or all of these things. But trust me guys if you find her with hair in pig-tails, wearing an apron with heels and giving you that "wassup" nod at dinner on Saturday, swipe the dishes off the table, throw your gal up there and have your way with her. You won't be disappointed!!! (Besides who ever said that sex was meant for the bedroom only?? I'm a firm believer that you should have sex in EVERY room of the house....at least once! Just please, make sure you wipe off the table before you invite me over for dinner.)

And those are the Universal Signs that she wants to have sex with you!

5 comments:

SteveBargelt said...

AWESOME, thanks for the cheat-sheet honey!

*Wearing heels or boots! Yay you almost ALWAYS wear heels or boots! =D

*rubbing your back in the middle of the night coupled with rubbing her feet on your legs - MY personal fave too!

Irish Girl said...

Not to mention, when aren't I bending over in front of you?!?! No wonder we don't get out of bed until after noon when we don't have the kids! LOL

Day said...

I would be most happy to know that the dining room table has been wiped of all the "little Steve swimmers" thank you very much! Cuz really, nothing says appetizing like a big white blob on your table!

Bird Shit and Baby Caca said...

The shaving the legs one is a big sign from me...I hate shaving LOL

MommaKiss said...

Great list! I just let him know by saying "let's go" - hey with 2 small children making me a tired zombie, it's got to just happen.

What gets me in the mood? When HE cleans! Or does the dishes. Nothing more sexy.