Friday, September 17, 2010


*Shout out to Angela. I FINALLY did a new blog post. Now back off, Lady!

LOL, JK. Love ya!!*

When I first moved from California to Washington about 14 years ago, I had SO much stuff...okay!! Okay!! Shoes! I had SO many pairs of shoes to bring (100+ pairs to be exact), that Todd and I decided to take AmTrak up. We weren't in a hurry and thought that it would be a nice way to relax and see the country side. Aside from having to sleep upright in a chair, it was a REALLY nice experience. Part of the train experience is eatting in the dining car. The dining car has several (2 to be exact) seating options. There are either tables for 2 or tables for 4. One day for breakfast we decided to mingle with the other passengers and we sat at a table for 4 across from a lovely couple heading from California to Alaska.

We did the initial meet and greet small talk. You know the "Hi, I'm (insert name here)" "This is my (insert relation here)" etc, stuff. I sat quietly eating my pancakes for the first little bit and then I decided to open my mouth and join in on the conversation. In hindsight, I should've just sat there eating my pancakes.

Now, let me just say this, I've always thought of myself as a fairly intelligent person. Did good in high school. Did great in college. On the speech and debate teams, Honor Rolls, Dean's Lists, AP classes, etc, etc, but that one lovely day on the train is where the California Public School system failed me and I became an idiot.

Todd: So where are you two from?

Lady: We are from Alaska. We took the train from Alaska to San Francisco for vacation and we're on our way back now. Its been really nice. What about you two?

Todd: Oh I'm from Washington. I'm in the Navy and my ship is now stationed up there. This is my girlfriend Marti (I smile) and she's from the Bay Area. She's moving up to Washington so we can be closer until I finish my time with the Navy.

Lady: That's so lovely. I'm sure the long distance has been difficult. (Blah blah blah)

Me: So you're like from Alaska, huh? Cool. This must've been a totally long trip for you.

Man: Yeah, but it's been nice seeing the country side and just taking our time.

Me: So how long is the trip going to take you total?

Man: About 4 days. After Seattle, we'll have to go through Canada and then onto Alaska.

Me: WOW!! So once you go through Canada do you have to like cross a bridge or something to get to Alaska?

Lady: What do you mean, Dear?

Me: (Looking nervously at Todd) Ummm, I mean to get onto Alaska. Don't you have to cross a bridge to like get there? I mean it is an island right? And then like don't you have to like pay a toll or something to cross and then show ID for like the guards to let you in???

*insert crickets*

Todd: No, Marti, Alaska isn't an island, its attached to Canada. There's no bridge to cross.

Me: There must be. I mean like on all the maps I've ever seen, its like an Island that's surrounded by walls. You know, like for protection from invasion or something.

Man & Lady: *looking horrified at each other*

Todd: *stares at me like I just grew a 3rd eye* No, Marti. Trust me. It's NOT an Island. There are no walls and there is NO bridge.

Me: Well then who ever did the maps of the US is a moron. Cuz like on every map I've like ever seen Alaska and Hawaii are islands that are like protected with walls. You know like the military bases where you have to show ID to get on. *looking at man and lady* Do you have to show some form of ID to get into Alaska?

Man & Lady: Excuse us. We must be going now. Enjoy your breakfast and the rest of your trip.

I'm pretty sure they jumped off the train at that point just to avoid us...well mostly to avoid me. Sadly, it took another couple of years until I would FINALLY believe Todd that Alaska wasn't some sort of island that you need to cross a bridge and show ID to get onto.

Thanks California Public Schools for making me a moron!


Bird Shit and Baby Caca said...

well you just taught me something new because I also thought Alaska was an island...Pennsylvania school systems have failed me as well LOL

Jeffrey Zima said...